Long time no bloggy- yeah I get that- I'm busy.
Not like anyone reads this anyway- except for you MK
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Derek and I are closing in a year already. It's really amazing. I have never felt more adult in my entire life- everything is falling into place and it feels good to be cozy with someone. We have our own routine and we spend pretty much any spare time either one of us has together. That's exciting for me. I love it.
He keeps having these weird recurring dreams where he's the only one ever in them. He tells me about them- and I get uneasy- something inside him is troubling him and I wish I knew how to stop it. I started looking up some of the pieces of his dream using the A-Z dream dictionary and it's kind of been helpful. Part of me doesn't want the dreams to stop because it gives me an insight he doesn't normally give me. He's very stoic and it's hard for me to crack him. Unless something terrible happens to us we don't really talk about how he's feeling. He thinks he doesn't need to share what he's feeling/thinking all the time because he knows that I'll worry about it- he's "protecting" me- but I'm not sure what he could possibly be protecting me from.
Yesterday I went over there after he got off work and we cuddled up on the couch infront of the TV as always and he started telling me about work. He gets to this part while he was at work where he says and I saw a guy- he looked like you. And I said (jokingly) "oh, so I'm man-ish?" and I laughed and he said no, "he had your shoes, and like a band tee that you'd wear-" and I said, "so?" not getting where this was going- and he goes, " No, I just don't get why someone like you- someone like that wouldn't just date- why pick me over a guy like that?" and Immediately he said, "I'm not insecure, I just don't get it- like if you share all the same things- wouldn't that make for a good relationship?" and I said, "not necessarily" thinking back to the time I dated Brian and there was no spark. We had a handful of things in common- and it didn't do us any good. I just found it real interesting that Derek saw that and wondered that himself. *shrug* I don't think he took my response the way I intended it. I basically told him that dating someone who's just like you is boring. He didn't seem to get it. *sigh*
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I really like him. His family invited me to cruise with them during spring break next year! I am so excited. I've already started planning financially- I have to get a passport- I really can't wait to go. Oddly enough- I'm most excited for the formal nights because we never got to get dressed up together (outside of Grandma Alice's funeral). He looks so good in a tux. I'm excited.
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My dad surprised me at work yesterday- It felt really odd- like parent teacher conferences. I felt like I shouldn't have been there. It was hard to take compliments from my boss who never says them. I shouldn't say never- she says them a bit- but not like the ones from yesterday. It was interesting. That's the only word I have to describe it.
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I have to get ready for work... I'm not lookin' forward to today- just not in the mood.
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