I'm pissy.

I am angry at my mother.

I'm tired of hearing:

"we have no money" or "we're broke" and then watching her spend a ton of money on xmas presents.... that we DON'T need...

I'm tired of hearing about how us as kids have "dropped the ball" as far as presents go for her birthday and crap when she knows damn well I had this whole thing planned but then she took my paychecks I had set aside for her and Branson and spent them on school.

Yes. I pay for junior college- out of my own pocket while my parents shell out 40,000 for Jessica. But I hear about how I have bought things for Sam (Derek's mom) or Randi or even Derek. My mom's mad that I don't put the same amount of thought into her gifts as I do Sam's- which is crap. Sam is easy to buy for because she likes the same things I do- I know what she likes- I have no fuckan clue what my mother wants. No clue. And I'm yelled at when I "drop the ball"

fuck this.

I hate christmas.

ya wanna know the sick part? I hate putting up our xmas tree and I refuse to do it with my family- but when Derek's mom asked me to help on theirs- I wanted to... what does that say?